And yes you have read that right - it is time for a PSL P*ppers, the good old VHS Cleaner with the smell of your favorite fall drink!
We think the best is only good enough for you, your room, or your VHS Tape...
In the making of this cleaner no Pumpkin is being hurt: Ethically sourced in Austin, Texas. Engineered with a top biochemist and Hand-crafted with care right here in the USA - not in an unknown location in Asia. Enjoy the new cleanness and scrub your tape baby gurl!
I surely could write a whole essay about it but, why should I when John Galassi from queerty.com has done it already:
Quote "Step aside, all you Starbucks-loving, yoga pant-wearing citizens of the Earth: Thereðs a new basic bitch in town, and sheðs down to f*ck.
At least, that seems to be the idea behind Double Scorpioðs new pumpkin spice latte poppers. Beautifully described by the company as the perfect gift for the ðfestive topð or ðautumnal bottomð in your life (god, I love me a seasonally appropriate gay pun!), the new PSL-scented tape cleaner inhalant promises to ðwarm your heart with a scent that's anything but basic.ðWhich, obviously, meant I had to buy it immediately, and then text everyone and their mom about itð against my boyfriendðs wishes.
ðPeople are weird about poppers still, and think of it as a party drug,ð he warned, clearly an expert in the matter.
To which I said, screw it, and texted them anywayð at 5:30 am in the morning (I was sick with a cold, and couldnðt sleep, itðs a whole thing, Iðm sorry, readers!).
ðWtf is that?ð My friend Branden asked, before texting less than a minute later. ðLol googled it nvm.ð
Of course, the real gold didnðt come until later.
ðSo how do you get the PSL flavor in your butt?ð a newly educated, but clearly still perplexed Branden asked. ðOr is it only the flavor you inhale? Iðll be honest, Google has turned up a lot of competing info.ð
(Can you tell that Branden is super straight? Itðs adorable.)
Once it was established that no, poppers donðt go in your butt, my other friend Chris (also part of this group text, and also super straight) declared, ðLol so this is like a whippit for your boner?ð
To which I immediately responded, yes! And that I had never heard anything more accurate in my life.
No matter how accurate such a statement was, the real test came down to when the actual pumpkin spice poppers arrived. Waiting for my boyfriend to get home in his sexy scrubs (heðs studying to be a medical assistant, so heðs basically a doctor), I twirled the bottle in my hands with the anticipation of a witch who knows sheðs about to get herself into some serious double, double, toil, and trouble.
Finally, my boyfriend arrived, and after showing him my latest spooky treasure, we got down to business.
ðWait,ð I paused, mid-make out session, because whatðs hotter than stopping foreplay to talk? ðWhat do you think itðs gonna be like?ð I asked him.
ðI have a feeling itðs going to be like regular poppers,ð he said, ðbut smell like a gross artificially-scented pumpkin candle.ð
ðI mean, I do love me a good candle!ð I said, before tearing the tiny bottle open and giving it a good, first whiff. With it came a blast of cinnamon, followed by a faint, creamy vanilla pumpkin scent.
Suddenly, under the influence, it was as if I was instantly transported to Halloween night, and ð wearing the costume of Sexy Josh ð all I wanted was that king size bar.
And then came the second sniff.
This time, as if possessed by a sex demon, all I could think was, ðGET THAT SWEET, DELICIOUS GOURD IN MEEEEEEE,ð to which my boyfriend happily obliged, thank you very much.
And the rest is history (you could even say it was a wrapð get it? Okay, only a few more Halloween puns left, I promise). Following our coitus, I asked my boyfriend his thoughts, to which he succinctly replied, ðYep, it was totally like inhaling a candle.ð
ðIt was definitely more cinnamony than I would have liked. I wanted more pumpkin flavor,ð I noted, speaking with the air of someone reviewing a pastry from an upscale french bakery, and absolutely not a controversial, magic sex elixir.
All of that to say, as a pumpkin spice enthusiast (yeah, yeah! Iðm a basic bitch, sue me), I was very pleased with my experience with these autumn-inspired poppers. While they werenðt that different in terms of regular poppers, the pumpkin spice element did add a fun twist, and provided an entertaining excuse to have sex (I was reviewing these, after all; legally we had to bone for research reasons!).
So, whether youðre looking to jack-o your own lantern, or exchange potions with a partner, Double Scorpioðs PSL poppers are sure to give you an ahem, splooshing-ly spooky good time.
Just please, for the love of your favorite king size candy bar, do not put them in your butt. Just ask my boyfriend, heðs basically a doctor."
Read the full article here.